Different Does Not Mean Wrong

Different does not mean wrong.
Different does not mean wrong.
Different does not mean wrong.

This has become a mantra in my life, beginning some years ago in my marriage.

For the first few years of our marriage, I equated different with wrong.  J's different than me, in more senses than just being a boy, therefore, he must be wrong. Different is wrong.

In my world, everything has a place and everything in it's place.  To J, everything has a place, and that place is where ever he put it down.
To me, I knew the Lord as a very personal God. J knew Him as holy, Lord, one to be revered.
I tend to be on the louder, let you know what I think side. J, not so much.

Guess what? I always (and that is not is not an exaggeration) thought he was the one who was wrong. How could he not know that everything needed to be nice and neatly put up? What do you mean that processing before speaking is a good thing; isn't it better to just let it out when you think it? I really in truly never, ever, ever considered that his way might be a good way or that there might be something that I could learn from it.  He, in my humble opinion, was wrong.  OR to put it another way, I was right, period. End of story.

Then I learned something, something very,very valuable. Different does not mean wrong. As long as different does not go against the law or against God's word. Different is just that, different.  Surprise of all surprises to me, different can also be good, very good, and at the same time, very painful.  The problem was, I was so set in my ways, that I had become unteachable.

What I found is it is good. It's maddening, but it's good.  Jamison has taught me to sometimes let things be - a little dirt and chaos is ok (but not a lot), he's helped me to reverence the Lord more and to maybe take my volume down a notch or two and think (if only briefly) before I speak.  On the flip side, he will tell you he has come towards me. He's become more organized, he's learned to speak up and that conflict is not all bad, and that the Lord does care about the personal details.  We've both changed and that change is good.

What brought all of this up?  Believe it or not, a conversation I had with a friend about parenting.  What do you mean you don't let your kids drink caffeine, watch tv, eat a little junk, spank your child?  Haven't you learned that tv is your friend?  That a little caffeine never killed anyone? that junk food allows you to try on clothes in a store? Not only that, I have been prideful enough to think, but maybe not say, just wait, she'll figure it out.  Because, why? Because, I am right, of course.  

Then I learned again, different is not wrong. Different is different and different is good. That mom who does not allow much tv watching has some great ideas of things to do on a rainy day. The mom who is careful what her child eats can teach me much about creative and healthy lunches.  Discipline techniques - I could learn more.

My conversation caused me to stop and think about a few things.  Why do I parent the way I parent?  Why do I make the decisions that I do?  Why do I let my kids do some things and not others?  Why do I use the discipline measures I do?

Instead of pumping my ego up that I have parenting all figured out, I need to be looking at these situations and asking myself:
-  So, what? In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? So what if we differ on diets, television time, etc.
-  What can I learn from another parent? Is there something she is doing right that I had not thought of?  Instead of assuming that what I am doing is right, why don't I assume that the other parent has great ideas as well.
-  Is this a salvation issue?

How boring, no, how loud would this world be if there were a bunch of Jen Smith's running around? The kids might be pretty unruly too.  The world would be organized for sure, but it wouldn't be very decorated.  The kids would be clean, but would they have had much fun?


Differences are like iron, sharpening one another, molding us, conforming us, dare I say, sanctifying us.  The  question I have to ask myself is, am I staying mold able, changeable, conformable or am I insisting on my own way in my marriage, in my parenting, in my life?

Different does not me wrong.

Who's the Parent?

We have struggled lately with bossiness from our eldest child. In fact, I am beginning to wonder who is the parent around here. Grayson seems to think that he is the dad and is constantly ordering Hope around, correcting her, etc. I read a while back in Creative Correction that an idea for disciplining this was to allow the child to do all of the parent's responsibilities for the day. For example, make lunch, wash clothes, dishes, etc. I am not sure how well this will work with an almost five year old. We did tell Grayson that if he continued he could do all things that a daddy does if we heard him correcting Hope.

Today I was in my room and heard Hope say, "Grayson, if you don't stop it, Mommy's going to make you wipe my bottom." I laughed and thought, "Great, now we have another mini-parent in the house."

Use Your Words

As I watch the drought and wildfires that are consuming our great state, I have been thinking about all things Texas.  Bluebonnets, Blue Bell and the Birds.  In particular, the mockingbird.

Aside from the fact that it is our state bird, and that it mocks other birds, that was about all I knew.

Dr. Google says the following:

Ask any Texan, and you will no doubt learn that the mockingbird has the prettiest song of any bird native to North America. That's perhaps the chief reason the "mocker" was adopted as the state bird of Texas in 1927. Legend has it when Texas chose the mockingbird as its state bird, the resolution stated that the bird is "a fighter for the protection of his home, falling, if need be, in its defense, like any true Texan..." Its species name comes from the Greek mimus to mimic, and ployglottos for "many-tongued.�  (http://www.shgresources.com/tx/symbols/bird/)

A mockingbird can have up to 25-30 songs in its repertoire at one time (http://www.lsjunction.com/bird.htm)

For some reason, the mockingbird has stuck with me and how often do I feel like this bird?

A beautiful song I may at times play, but how many times do I feel that it is because I am mimicking 25-30 women in my life.  I want to blog like Missy, do crafts like Katie, sew like Sharyn, create like Suzanne, teach like Leanne, and the list goes on.  You will hear me say, "I can copy, but not create." I feel like a mocker, hiding behind other's songs. Mimicking at it's best.

Do you ever feel that way - like all you are doing is mimicking those around you? It's left me with the question, "What am I good at?"   What is the song that God has created me to sing?  What is my song?  I don't want to merely imitate those around me that I respect.  I want to flourish in the way He has created me. I can learn from others as we are told to seek wise council, but the Lord did not create me to be just like them.  He created me uniquely.

First and foremost the Lord has shown me that I am ultimately to "imitate" him as I am conformed to the image of His son.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children ; 2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.  Ephesians 5:1-2

Ephesians 4:29-32 gives me a glimpse of what this looks like:

vs 29  Speak helpful, edifying words

vs 32  Be Kind

vs 32  Be Compassionate

vs 32  Forgive as Christ forgave you

I don't even want to stop and think about how well I am doing there.  Does my song merge together the melody of edification, kindness, forgiveness?  Oh, I dare say not as I blow it so many times a day with my children. Yet they are first and foremost the very people I am a reflection of Christ for.  I need work. I need help. I need Christ. Daily. Hourly. Minute by Minute.

Then there is the part of the melody that I have been praying for.  Lord, what am I passionate about? 

As I have been reading through the Psalms, the same thing has been jumping out at me:

"Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, Till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come."  Plsam 71:18

"My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long." Psalm 71:24

"...I will tell of all of your deeds." Psalm 73:28

Ultimately I am to sing His song, to tell of His deeds, His power, His righteous acts. To glorify Him.

In our house, due to the insane amount of temper tantrums these days by all 3 kids, the summer mantra has become, "Use your words. You have words, so use them."  As I read through the Psalms, it was if I heard, "use your words.  You have them. Use them."

It starts with telling my children of the great and mighty things God has done: most importantly of sending His Son to give them a right relationship with Him. It is telling others of the great and praiseworthy things He has done. My life is His life. My story is ultimately His story. It is for His glory and yet I fail each day to tell it.

How is the Lord weaving together your song?

Lord, Help Me.

Lord help me today remember my kids are young and do not see the world as I do.
Help me to remember that stopping to love them is more important than my list of things to do.
Give me ears to hear what they are truly asking; eyes to see things from their perspective;
hands to heal their hurts and hugs to calm their souls.
Help me see the good and not the bad.
Help me build up and not tear down.
Give me an understanding heart, kind words and a gentle answer.
Give me patience to answer the unending questions, wisdom in administering discipline
and discernment to be my aide.
Lord help me make your agenda, my agenda and help me remember these are your children, not mine.

WFMW: Target with Toddlers

There is not much that I don't want to do with 3 kids, ages 4, 2, 10 months.  Shopping is one of them.

Tip 1: Make sure everyone has a place to sit.

It seems that Target is a frequent stop of mine. Mainly because the carts have a place for all three of mine to sit.  I can strap them all down.   HEB/Krogers can be done as well, but that involves a car cart and a baby bjorn, which gives a good workout, but infinitely harder.  I prefer my Super Target.

In fact, my husband quipped the other day, "I'm going to judge my sanctification on if I have read my Bible more than you have been  Target."

To which I replied, "I've been every day, how are you doing?"  (It was one of those weeks).

Tip 2: I am not above incentives

My kids LOVE "special" drinks.

Little secret: In Houston, all size drinks at McDonalds are $1. (Sonic large drinks are $1 before 11, at least the one close to me).  McDonalds is in the Target parking lot.

One large drink + 3 cute sippy cups = easy shopping at Target for $1.08

I buy one drink, divide it up and it really does keep them occupied during the trip.

Drinks can also be used as an incentive for after the trip.

Tip 3: Repeat the mantra or count the items on small trips.

Have the kids repeat the mantra. On days when we are there for a very few things, we repeat, "bread. eggs. milk."   We then count the 3 things as we go.   It keeps me focused, the kids focused and it lets every one else know that I don't want to be there with 3 kids any more than they want me there with 3 kids.

"Pullups" or "diapers" is a frequent mantra when I forget to use amazon mom.

(Another WFMW tip: amazon mom is about the same price and delivers straight to your door. If you order $25 in baby supplies, you get free Amazon prime membership for 2 months.  I am out to Sept. with free shipping.  I then buy all out of state gifts from amazon and have them shipped for free.)

Tip 4: Candy necklaces

It's a slow process to eat the little rings off one by one.

That's all for now. Happy Shopping!

God or Target

Jamison has been home this week as he is in between jobs. I think it's been great to have the help and to have some family time. I think the kids are enjoying daddy being around as well. One of the things he has seen is how many questions I answer in a day.  Where Grayson leaves off, Hope picks up. It's incredible.  At the zoo yesterday, we answered at least nine thousand "why" questions, many which were a series of whys that ended in one of us saying, "That's the way God made it."  "God" is the good, safe, truthful answer to all of our questions. Not long after we got home, I told Michaela that I bought her a new sippy cup. Jamison asked, "where did that come from?"  To which I said, "Target."  Jamison quickly replied, "Of course it did.  In fact, all questions in this house can be answered with either 'God' or 'Target.'"

Your parenting tip of the day is brought to you courteous of Jamison Smith.

All About My Mom....

All About My Mom...by Grayson Smith
(What Grayson wrote about me at preschool - pretty comical in my opinion)

My Mom's name is Jennifer
My Mom likes to cook
My Mom's favorite flower: Daisy
My Mom has taught me to run faster than my dad
My Mom's favorite hobby is to eat candy
My Mom helps me to read
I love My Mom because she takes care of me.
My favorite thing to do with my mom is play tractors
My favorite memory is play star wars

Loving the Little Years

A few weeks back, Jamison recommended this book to me: Loving the Little Years, Motherhood in the Trenches.  I ordered for the same reason he recommended it to me, we liked the name of the title. It intrigued me, plus J stumbled across it from a reputable source.  I also liked what the author said in promoting her book, "I didn't write this book because mothering is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn't."  She has 5 children that are under the age of 5, so I figured that if anyone could relate, she definitely could.  So, I picked up the book.

I'll get to the punch line: Excellent book. It's short, it's easy to read, it's funny but reader beware, it will kick your rear! I picked it up under the misconception that it would be short little devotionals that would make me laugh, that would pick me up, you know a general feel good kind of book.  It is, but in each chapter (which are very short - a bonus for mom's with small kids) she makes a bigger parenting point that will punch you squarely between the eyes.

This book is a fantastic reminder that as parents we are in the trenches, and it is hard, but that as parents we have been given the opportunity to train our children. It is our job to see them as individuals, to harness their emotions, to creating a thankful heart.  Not only that but she consistently points out that many of our parenting issues are our own sin issues. It is not just our child that needs to change, but the parent that needs to change.

She gives some challenging things to think about but also presents how she has done some things. It ruffled more than a few of my feathers, but was a great cause to look at where I needed to change in my parenting. I definitely need to work more on the training, not viewing my kids as interruptions and embracing the work the Lord has given me to do.

She sums up the book with this verse Ecclesiastes 5:19
Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions,and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God.

Mom to Mom: Transitioning 2 to 3 Tip

Last August, my world was rocked. I went from 2 kids to 3 kids. I know there are super women out there who have 4, 5 and 6 and can do it with ease and whose kids are closer together than mine. However, three kids ages 4 and under has thrown me into a tailspin. As I was cleaning tonight I remembered another little trick that has helped me. It was actually my husband's idea, but it has saved me and helps me be a better mom during the day ('cause I know I am getting help at night).

We all know that children thrive on schedule, but what about the parents? We created our own little schedule. Jamison has been wonderful in recognizing that for a season, until I learn to balance 3, that I need a little help with what are my daily chores. Right now, if everyone is alive at the end of the day, the beds are made and dinner is on the table, I call success. However, that leaves lots of chores undone. He proposed helping me as long as he knew what to expect when.

So, here is our schedule:

Sun: get the house tidied up - not cleaned, but just straightened up so Monday isn't so daunting. I also give J the mornings I would like to run.

Mon night: we love Castle and to also poke fun at the Bachelor (guilty pleasure). So, we watch together and we FOLD laundry together. Sometimes I iron. Sometimes I actually get it all done during the day and we can just veg together.

Tues night: cleaning night. Again, I do as much as possible and enlist the kids help as much as possible, but getting the whole house clean is next to impossible. I have a list and we divide and conquer together. Not too bad tonight as we had to mop, do the tubs and toilets. I actually managed to dust and vacuum during the day.

Wed night: we actually started a few years ago, but have stuck to it. It's a hybrid of some very wise counseling we got. One person told us to set aside a night where we can talk, discuss issues, whether it be unresolved conflict, to parenting issues, to whatever we need to discuss. That way things didn't slip through the cracks. Sometimes the lists are long, sometimes short. Each of us brings items to the table. For instance last week my list consisted of: what are we going to do about the pesky squirrel that has made my attic his home? should Grayson play t-ball/soccer? When do we want to start swim lessons for the kids? Preschool - how many days? how do I deal with Grayson's talking back? Nothing too contentious. However, that is not all weeks. Which is where the second piece of advice I got comes in. If you have an issue to resolve, write it on an index card. Think about it, pray about it and then write down the 3 main points you want to make. It helps keep you focused when you are talking to your spouse and it helps you process what is most important!

Another divide and conquer tip that has helped us: one cleans the kitchen (99% of the time that's me) and the other gives the kids a bath.

That's it. I hope to report soon that I don't need help on Mon/Tues nights, but for now it is making the transition to juggling kids easier.

Mom to Mom: Who's on First?

Missy over at It's Almost Naptime is hosting a tips and tricks for mom's. (I am also linking this to WFMW) I don't have much as mine are still little: 4, 2 and 5 months. However, this has been a lifesaver for the older two.

There was much bickering about who got in the car first, who got out, who got served first, etc. and it never ended. The biggest saga, BEDTIME. Mom puts one to bed and dad the other. Problem being, there was ALWAYS a major meltdown and bedtime drama. Everyone wants mom to put them to bed. I usually want to crawl in a hole and hide by that time of day. So the evening drama just about sent me over the edge.

Solution: Who's on first?

Every other day, Grayson is first and on the opposite days Hope is first. When Michaela is old enough it will be a three day rotation. Who's on First gets to get in the car first, out of the car first, in the bath first, out of the bed first and also gets the golden privilege of mom putting him/her to bed. The beauty of it is at 2 and 4 they can on any given day tell you who is first. In fact, sometimes I have to say, "enough about saying, 'it's my day.'" Hundreds of battles saved. Sometimes I even use it if we have a special treat after school where we are going, to pick a movie when I need a break. (Rabbit trail, another trick for picking a movie. Give them 3 options - one the girl will like, one the boy will like and one mom really wants them to watch. They have to watch the one they can agree on, if not mom gets to pick. They are not good with compromise so it's a win/win situation in my world. They watch what I want them to watch and I get 30 minutes of peace to get something accomplished. TV time increased with child 3. Survival of the fittest).

Another friend of mine and I were talking about this and she said, "Oh we do that too. Only they do even and odd days. "

For free: even if you are not in to catechisms (you can read my post here), teach your kids the very most basic question:

Q: Why are you here?

A: To glorify God and enjoy Him forever

Q: How do we do that?

A: By loving him and loving each other.

Beauty - it encompasses almost every discipline issue I have faced. I need to get at the specific issues but being on newborn sleep, it gives me a starting point of discussion for them. Grayson, does hitting your sister glorify God?

Finding Jesus in Holiday Tradition

When Grayson was born, my mom bought me a book The Adventure in Christmashttp://www.amazon.com/Adventure-Christmas-Helping-Children-Traditions/dp/1590520890/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258861068&sr=8-1
This is the first year that I have felt that Grayson was old enough to use it. It has a page for each holiday tradition, where it came from, a craft and questions to facilitate discussion with your kids. It looks great!

As we put the tree up tonight, we placed a star on top and I was able to talk to Grayson about the star that led the wise men to Jesus. It was fun to start our holiday decorating talking about the coming of Christ. We also started teaching him Joy to the World. What music to hear him sing about the true Joy of the Season.

Mommy Guilt

As I walked through the disaster zone of my house today and realized how absolutely disgusting my floors are (thank goodness for no crawling), I wondered, will I ever have it together. The last line of an email from about a year ago came to my head, "My floors are crunchy." I dug up the email and decided to post it - it's on mommy guilt. I don't agree with all of it, but a good reminder to us moms that we are not alone! I do think that some of the things, i.e. the yelling, we can get under control with the help of the Holy Spirit. The other things - crunchy floors - we just have to let go or hire help!



Mommy Guilt

If your floor is crunchy and you yell sometimes - you're not alone

Pssst. I'm going to share my secret with you. A secret of dark shame.

The floor of my home is crunchy.

As a mother of three children ages 4, 2 and 3 months, I assure you: my floor is actually crunchy. Five years ago, had you suggested to me I would be shuffling through Cheerios and Goldfish and peeling my elbows off the grape-jelly and apple-juice epoxy on my dining room table, I would have scoffed. I was a much better mother, as they say, before I had children.

It's the secret that dare not say its name: Mommy Guilt. As a licensed professional counselor specializing in wives and mommies, I've heard hundreds of women confess this to me, eyes cast to the floor:
I'm a terrible mother, and it's so easy for everyone else.

These women are working both in and out of the home, but we all share the same terrifying feeling that we will be found out. We yell! We (gasp!) microwave bottles! We feed our children Cocoa Puffs, and they've refused to eat a vegetable since we spooned them into them at age six months! We've used a combination of a towel, duct tape and a maxipad swaddled on our toddler because we forgot to buy diapers! The horror! The horror!

I'm here to tell you: I'm not alone, and neither are you. The mother you see every morning at school drop-off whose children are in matching, crisply ironed Ralph Lauren shirts, the mother who is in heels and makeup at 6:30 a.m., the mother who somehow shows up to every freakin' PTA meeting with a smile on her face and a homemade brownie platter in her hand – all these women share the Dark Secret.

We're wearing maternity underwear, and our youngest is 6.

All kidding aside, it has been amazing to hear my clients struggling with depression and despair over the gap between what they think other mothers pull off effortlessly and what happens in their own homes.

If she didn't have money to buy athletic supplies for her son, said one client through her tears, she would be depriving her child of enrichment, exercise and all the opportunities she thinks every other child has.
Another is convinced she is the only mother who raises her voice to her children.

Yet another is certain she's a horrible parent because she dreads dealing with her mercurial toddler. And they have no idea that mother after mother who sits on my office couch claims that all other women are great parents, while they are not. They would not dare to share with these other mommies what they see as their shortcomings.

Stop the mommy guilt.

Not everyone will agree with your parenting. Revisit your values and priorities. Allow for imperfections.

If you're worried about your quality of parenting, I've discovered, chances are you're doing fine.

Most important, research shows that women who report the most happiness have a solid network of other females. When you're losing it, hearing another mom admit to the same feelings is so powerful. When my friend with two small children told me her cleanliness goal really only entailed raking a path clear enough the toys that EMT workers could make it to her if she ended up running amok and breaking a limb, I felt so much better. "Lousy" mothers – unite!

Choose your battles. Apologize when you make mistakes.
And should you find that stress is overwhelming, get support through your network or friends...or access a professional counselor like me who can help you take care of you so you can take better care of them.

Throw off your shackles, Mom. Know that whether they admit it or not, every mom is imperfect just like you and me. Say it loud: My floor is crunchy, my elbows are sticky and I'm proud!

Time

I am in the midst of studying to teach a parenting lesson this week. Yes, I understand that I am only 3 years into the venture and don't have much to add. However, I am a good reader and I can compile the wisdom of people far wiser (and farther along) in their parenting than me. I am actually using part of a lesson that I taught before in the upcoming one and as I was reading it, I was convicted, again. It's what the Lord is impressing on me that I need to be doing for my children. The number one need of our children is unconditional love. One of the ways that we give that to our children is through our undivided, uniteruppted, unhurried TIME. Yes, that which we feel like we have the least amount of. Here's the excerpt from my lesson that has been kicking my rear for the last few days. May I be reminded of giving this to my children:

If Women spell love T-A-L-K and men spell love S-E-X, then our children spell love T-I-M-E! Our children need our undivided, uninterrupted time. Some of us have a false idea that if we spend quality time, then the quantity of time is irrelevant. Jenkins says that this is the same as one minute parenting, that we can accomplish all we need in one minute or less so that we can get on with our hurried lives. Let me tell you what Dr. Dobson has to say,

“I'm afraid the logic of that concept is flawed to me. The question is, why do we have to choose between the virtues of quantity versus quality? We won't accept that forced choice in any other area of our lives. So why is it only relevant to our children?
(Dobson) Let me illustrate my point. Let's suppose you've looked forward all day to eating at one of the finest restaurants in town. The waiter brings you a menu, and you order the most expensive steak in the house. But when the meal arrives, you see a tiny piece of meat about one-inch square in the center of the plate. When you complain about the size of the steak, the waiter says, ‘Sir, I recognize that the portion is small, but that's the finest corn-fed beef money can buy. You'll never find a better bite of meat than we've served you tonight. As to the portion, I hope you understand that it's not the quantity that matters, it's the quality that counts.’”

We are appearing to care, when in essence we are doing nothing more than baby-sitting. Ladies, our children are smart cookies, they can see right through whatever we are trying to do and our lack of attention in spending time with them says one thing to them, “The TV, computer, phone, whatever else that has my mom’s attention at the moment is more important than me” Let me translate for you, “I’m not loved.” Let me translate it another way, “What Oprah has to say is more important than what I have to say.” Ladies, it is time we hang up the phone, unplug the internet, turn off the T.V., put down the sewing and focus on our children. They desperately need some uninterrupted, one on one, eye time with our children. Ex// Lest you think that I am not getting my own toes stepped on…while I was on the phone with a friend going over this particular piece of the lesson, my son toppled head over heals out of a patio chair, off our deck and onto the ground.

Here are some suggestions of what we can do to put more time back in our schedules (some are from Dr. Dobson):
- Watch less TV
- Work from home.
- Slow down: give up some activities/ prioritize (set priorities for your home and then when making decisions ask “does this decision fit into what I want my house to be?")
- Spend less time on hobbies/recreation
- Ask a friend/relative for help
- Postpone a goal (getting a degree, remodeling the house, etc)
- Better manage the time I do have – get organized
- Get up earlier/stay up later to get the cleaning/laundry/bills paid so you have more awake time w/kids

Ask questions, share activities, listen with your eyes

Time is the one thing that we can not go back and recover. Once today is gone, it is gone. We should live every moment with our children to the fullest. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Do not squander time, for it is the stuff life is made of.” As Erma Bombeck says, “Will your child remember that it was clean behind the toilet or that you stood in the rain at the soccer game?”

Intentional

dAlmost every year, the Lord lays a word on my heart. It's always exciting, and sometimes a little scary, to see what that word might be. A few months ago, the word came to me and that word is intentional. I feel like the Lord has been directing me to be more intentional in my life now that I have two kids. Intentional about my quiet time (actually scheduling it into my day instead of just fitting it in around wake up time and naps), intentional about when I work out (yes, that means I have recently, as in the past week, been getting up at 4:45 to get both of the above mentioned things into my schedule while not taking away from family time), but mostly intentional in my parenting.

I realized that since I had Hope my days have been more free form than planned out. Not that every minute has to be planned, but that I had lost direction to what I was doing and why. With just one child, I had time in the day planned to read, read the Bible, do colors, numbers, shapes, etc. Much different with two.

My starting point was to make a plan to have a Bible time each day with the kids. I am slowly adding things to my plan. As for the time, we would work on catechism, memory verses and do our daily reading. I thought great, I'll pick one character to work on all summer, and I chose David. I was all ready to begin studying him as a shepherd, as a king, as a warrior with the kids. We'll memorize Psalm 23 together. Good stuff. I thought Grayson will love this. Grayson had other ideas. He's gotten used to the morning time around the breakfast table only he has decided he only wants to read about Jonah.

I don't know how many children's Bible books you have used, but most of them only cover the first two chapters of Jonah, right up to the point where the fish vomits him up and he actually goes to Ninevah. Hmmm...the best laid plans. Well, here is my challenge and how I am not being intentional. We read the story every morning out of one of 5 books that he has, including the actual Bible and it is my challenge every few days to come up with a new principle to teach him.

It's fun, it's challenging! How many life lessons for a 2 year old can you come up with? Jamison and I are challenged, but it has been good for me to be intentional in my thinking and teaching. Then I can look throughout the day to reinforce what we learned in Jonah.

Here's a starting point if you want to take the challenge:
1. Repentance - Jonah asked God for forgiveness and that we need to ask for forgiveness
2. God is gracious and gives us second chances
3. Obedience
4. Consequences to our disobedience
5. Omnipresence - that God was present even when Jonah thought he was going in the other direction
6. All of nature was created by God (Grayson likes to talk about the fish)
7. The fish is not a bad fish - the fish was sent by God
8. God's mercy - the Ninevites were bad people but God wanted them to know His love
9. God's love - he loved even the wicked people
10. We are to tell others of God's love
11. God has a plan for our lives

A Fierce Love

I love the second Monday of the months – it’s MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). Not only is it a night away with other moms and a night away from the kids, I love that I walk away from there, encouraged and challenged to be a better mom. Last night we were blessed to have the Global Minister of Children at Second Baptist (i.e. he's over children's ministries aat all campuses), Steve Seelig, speak to us. WOW sums it up in one word. We laughed a little, we cried a little, we were challenged a lot, or at least I was.

He summed up mothering in 3 points.
1. We need to be a praying mom for our kids.
2. We need to have a future vision for our kids.
3. We need to speak blessing over our kids.

There was so much more to it, but I need more time to process, meditate and assess my mothering. He just continued to get stirred up that which I have been thinking about. You see, I have done a lot of thinking about being a mom in recent days. I love being a mom; I don’t always love my actions towards my kids. I cry when I scream at them, I get frustrated when they don’t listen to me, can’t tolerate their whiny behavior and at times want to throw them out the windows. Before anyone calls CPS on, that is metaphorically speaking, perhaps I should have said I want to pull my hair out. As J and I were talking about it a few months back, despite all Grayson’s quirks that drive me mad, there is a deep love for him that can never be shaken, as I described it to J, a fierce love. It’s a love that will never let go, a love that wants the best, believes the best, is unconditional, unchanging, unwavering love that would do anything for my child.

It’s made me realize that perhaps I have been too hard on my mom in my years. So many things that I thought she was doing to be mean, were because she loved me. Not only was she there to kiss my boo-boos, pick up the broken pieces at broken relationships, endure the heartache of not making a team, to encourage me every step of the way, she was also there to speak the hard truth to me, stop me when I was doing wrong, infuriate me by not telling me what I wanted to hear and that too was her love. I think all along I have known it….which is why when the world falls apart, Grayson looks at me and yells “no”, J and I get in a fight, I pick up the phone and call her. For I know on the other end is someone who has a fierce love me. She will love me, encourage me, support me, get me in line, whatever, but that my mom will always be there. Nothing can ever shake her love for me. That is something to be commended and not something I fully understood (and probably still don’t) until I had children of my own.

I arise and call my mother blessed and can only hope someday my children will do the same for me.

Spurgeon Quote

A friend of mine sent this to me and I found it to be encouraging. Sometimes in the mundane routine of mothering, I forget that in doing so I am serving the Lord and doing exactly what He has called me to do. Enjoy the quote.

"You are as much serving God in looking after your own children, and training them up in God's fear, and minding the house, and making your household a church for God, as you would be if
you had been called to lead an army to battle for the Lord of Hosts."
Charles Spurgeon