By Name

I've been working on my homework for Outbreak and just had  a great reminder as I was reading through John 10. I love this passage about the sheep and the shepherd and how the sheep follow the shepherd because he calls them by name.  vs 3b "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out."  Part of this week was about the fear of being forgotten and I admit that I often times feel this way, especially when I am in the drudgery of day to day life with three small little ones. They drain everything out of me and sometimes I just have to wonder, "Lord, do you remember that I am here? Can you cut me a break with all the whining, crying and screaming?"  It gets old, it gets lonely, it feels like I am forgotten.  I wonder if that is how Moses or David felt for all of those years out in the field tending sheep?

So, today was a sweet, tender touch of, "Jen, I haven't forgotten you.  I know you by name."

That is astounding to me that the Lord of all of the Universe, knows my name. I mean, I am horrible, horrible, horrible with people's names.  I know all the tricks of the trade. You know the ones: call someone by a generic name. If you are from the South, honey, will do or Bless Your Soul.  You don't need a personal name to say, Oh Bless You.  For those of you who are married, you know this one well, "if I don't introduce you by name, be sure and step in and introduce yourself." The hope is the other person will give his/her name while saying, "nice to meet you."  Deny it all you want, but I know that we have ALL played that game.

The Lord though, doesn't need that. The Lord knows, and the Lord calls each of us by our own name.

I started thinking about that and remembered that I had once written in my Bible somewhere in Exodus 3, "The Lord is a personal God."  It stemmed from the repetition of the phrase, "I am the God of your fathers - the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob."  The Lord didn't just say, "I am God," though He did say, "I am who I am."  He also referred to himself as the Lord of people. He's not an impersonal God, but a very personal one.

It made me think of these verses:
Exodus 3:4 "When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, 'Moses! Moses!'"

I Samuel 3:10 "The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, 'Samuel! Samuel!'"

Luke 1:13, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah."

Acts 9:3 "He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to Him, 'Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?'"

John 20:16 at the tomb, "Jesus said to her, 'Mary.'"

While we may not hear the audible calling of our names, rest assured, that the Lord does know our names, that He does call us by name and that one day there will be a rock with our name on it, known only by the Lord (Rev 2:17).  What a beautiful reminder.  It was almost as if a whisper, "Jen, you are not forgotten. I know you by name."

Once in a Lifetime

Once in a lifetime you get to do things:
Get Married. Hold your First born in your arms,

Watch Air Force One land

See your first born shake the President's hand....

Regardless of your political views, that is a once in a lifetime experience that can never be replaced. He had the opportunity to meet the leader of our country.  What a history lesson for my son as we talked about who the President was, why He was important, and also that God teaches us to respect the government, unless of course we are told to go against God's written word.  We talked about the sovereignty of God.  It was a day!

Needless to say, we came home playing "Air Force One."  Grayson has decided that he wants to be President.  I told him he could do anything the Lord called him to do and if he keeps the Lord center of his life, he would make an incredible President.

Get Out of the Window

This Monday night I had the pleasure of attending Outbreak, a night of praise and worship for women in the Katy area. It goes on for eight weeks and we would love for you to join us.  This week, Gari Meachum, spoke on having Contagious Worship.  In her words, "worship is coming undone before God."


She went on to go through what she called the three mosaics of worship.  They are:
-  Worship resulting from storms
-  Worship resulting from awe
-  Worship resulting from surrender

It was a great, great message on worship and has really had me thinking. I would love to say the part on the storms got to me, because I love how Peter sank and the disciples still worshiped. It made me think that even in times when I start to sink, others are watching and worship can still result, not because I failed, but because the Lord saves.  Gari made the point that we are to worship while the boat is still rocking.

However, the one that has been eating away at me was the part on worship resulting from awe. Gari used the Scripture 2 Samuel 6:12-23 where David is dancing with all of his might because the ark is being brought back to Jerusalem.  He was in awe of what the Lord was doing and was worshiping with all of his might.

2 Samuel 6:14-15, "David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the Lord with all his might, while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sounds of trumpets."


The Scripture goes on to say in vs 16, "as the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Sal watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart."


Gari made the point that our worship can draw criticism from others, but even so, we are to continue to worship the Lord with all of our might.  We should continue on.  Great point.....but how often am I in the window instead of on the street?

How many times am I like Michal?  How many times do I sit in the window and criticize how someone else is worshiping?  She even goes as far as to question David on it in verse 20, "How the King of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!" (She was reprimanded and harshly).

Can you believe they would sing that song in that way?
Can you believe that she thinks looking at a flower or watching a sunset is the same as singing praises to God? (side note: Gary Thomas has a great book called Sacred Pathways that talks about the different ways that we can worship God).
Can you believe that she would dance?
Can you believe...you fill in the blank...

Here is what I thought, how often am I looking at how others are doing things rather than what God is doing? For when I look at how they are worshiping instead of what is going on in my very midst, I may very well be missing out on what the Lord is doing. What a tragedy that I miss His presence all because I was focused on someone else rather than Him.  I don't want to ever miss out on what the Lord is doing and miss the opportunity to worship Him and Him alone.

I need to get out of the window and on to that street.  While I am way too reserved to dance, I love to run and as I have said many times before, my greatest worship comes from turning one foot over the other, praising the Lord along the way!

I encourage you to get out of your window and get to worshiping.

Different Does Not Mean Wrong

Different does not mean wrong.
Different does not mean wrong.
Different does not mean wrong.

This has become a mantra in my life, beginning some years ago in my marriage.

For the first few years of our marriage, I equated different with wrong.  J's different than me, in more senses than just being a boy, therefore, he must be wrong. Different is wrong.

In my world, everything has a place and everything in it's place.  To J, everything has a place, and that place is where ever he put it down.
To me, I knew the Lord as a very personal God. J knew Him as holy, Lord, one to be revered.
I tend to be on the louder, let you know what I think side. J, not so much.

Guess what? I always (and that is not is not an exaggeration) thought he was the one who was wrong. How could he not know that everything needed to be nice and neatly put up? What do you mean that processing before speaking is a good thing; isn't it better to just let it out when you think it? I really in truly never, ever, ever considered that his way might be a good way or that there might be something that I could learn from it.  He, in my humble opinion, was wrong.  OR to put it another way, I was right, period. End of story.

Then I learned something, something very,very valuable. Different does not mean wrong. As long as different does not go against the law or against God's word. Different is just that, different.  Surprise of all surprises to me, different can also be good, very good, and at the same time, very painful.  The problem was, I was so set in my ways, that I had become unteachable.

What I found is it is good. It's maddening, but it's good.  Jamison has taught me to sometimes let things be - a little dirt and chaos is ok (but not a lot), he's helped me to reverence the Lord more and to maybe take my volume down a notch or two and think (if only briefly) before I speak.  On the flip side, he will tell you he has come towards me. He's become more organized, he's learned to speak up and that conflict is not all bad, and that the Lord does care about the personal details.  We've both changed and that change is good.

What brought all of this up?  Believe it or not, a conversation I had with a friend about parenting.  What do you mean you don't let your kids drink caffeine, watch tv, eat a little junk, spank your child?  Haven't you learned that tv is your friend?  That a little caffeine never killed anyone? that junk food allows you to try on clothes in a store? Not only that, I have been prideful enough to think, but maybe not say, just wait, she'll figure it out.  Because, why? Because, I am right, of course.  

Then I learned again, different is not wrong. Different is different and different is good. That mom who does not allow much tv watching has some great ideas of things to do on a rainy day. The mom who is careful what her child eats can teach me much about creative and healthy lunches.  Discipline techniques - I could learn more.

My conversation caused me to stop and think about a few things.  Why do I parent the way I parent?  Why do I make the decisions that I do?  Why do I let my kids do some things and not others?  Why do I use the discipline measures I do?

Instead of pumping my ego up that I have parenting all figured out, I need to be looking at these situations and asking myself:
-  So, what? In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? So what if we differ on diets, television time, etc.
-  What can I learn from another parent? Is there something she is doing right that I had not thought of?  Instead of assuming that what I am doing is right, why don't I assume that the other parent has great ideas as well.
-  Is this a salvation issue?

How boring, no, how loud would this world be if there were a bunch of Jen Smith's running around? The kids might be pretty unruly too.  The world would be organized for sure, but it wouldn't be very decorated.  The kids would be clean, but would they have had much fun?


Differences are like iron, sharpening one another, molding us, conforming us, dare I say, sanctifying us.  The  question I have to ask myself is, am I staying mold able, changeable, conformable or am I insisting on my own way in my marriage, in my parenting, in my life?

Different does not me wrong.

In Your Path

I never really knew how hard three kids was going to be. About the time that I think I have it under control, it all falls apart again.  I'm exhausted. Yet in my exhaustion, I look around and see so many people who have a heart and passion for foreign missions and I think to myself, "Why don't I have it?"  or "Why can't I do that?" I know comparison is not healthy, but I see the passion and it bothers me that I don't have some sort of compassion, much less passion for these sorts of things.  I would like to, but it's not there.  I often ask, "what's wrong with me?"

Then in one of the sweet, tender moments when I had a brief moment of silence in my house, these words were whispered to me, "In your path."  Minister to the people that are in your path.  Because I am hard of hearing most days, my Proverbs 31 email came through that morning and it was on the Good Samaritan. I believe the point was that we were supposed to show grace, but this jumped out at me.  

'A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.  A priest happened to be going down the same road.....So, too, A Levite, when he came to the place.....but a Samaritan, as he traveled, came to the same place..."  Luke 10:30-33


Three men, on a road with an opportunity to help, yet only one took the opportunity.  What jumped out at me, was they were on a road, the man was in their path. Right now, I don't have to look far and wide to find opportunities to minister. My problem is that I often times walk down the path and don't see or I choose to walk on the other side of the road.

As if I wasn't convicted enough, the other morning devotional was on finding five people to do good to this week, people that were in your path.

So, who is in your path?

I took about two steps before I ran into the first person on my path:

Then the pitter patter of little feet brought three more people into my path:

Right now, my path is in my home.

FIVE

FIVE.

My baby's five. Where, oh where did the time go? I am in denial. He can't be five. After one, five is the first big milestone birthday.   His picture was made in the bluebonnets to commemorate the event. It is now hanging on my wall.  In not too many years, his 18th birthday picture will be hanging beside it.  Sigh. It makes me sad.  Years of praying to be a mom and now the answer that I thought would never come is five.  God is so good.

Grayson -

Now you are five. It seems like just yesterday you were an infant that I had no idea what to do with.  Then you were a toddler, into trucks and dirt. It seems as if overnight you went from that little one to a little boy. Trucks and dirt turned to superheros and capes.  Those have now been traded to Star Wars and Legos. Big boys like Star Wars and Legos.  You can't possibly be that big.

This picture captures it all. You always have a smile on your face and your eyes dance with mischief.  Even running, you are constantly smiling.  You are an expressive child.  We love to hear you tell stories as your whole face expresses the story. You are animated to say the least.

Little Man, you are a delight.  You have a sweet and sensitive spirit. Though you can pick unmercifully on Hope, you are a tremendous big brother.  You are always willing to help. You are quick to make sure that your sisters are taken care of. You are learning that your role as a brother is to love and to protect your sisters. We have watched you this year grow into that role.  You are Michaela's biggest fan and are already teaching her many things and looking out for her. We pray that all three of you will remain close in the years to come.  We often tell you that God has given you a big role in being the big brother of not one, but two sisters.  God is proud of how you take that seriously. I periodically hear you tell Hope, "a gentleman gets the door."

You love sports.  This year you took on soccer in the fall and baseball in the spring.  You loved both of them. You also progressed in your swimming and learned to use your arms. We spent many days at the pool and perhaps your favorite thing to do was to swim with your pops.  Uncle Justin taught you how to dive this summer.

Your imagination is going in full force.  You and Hope dream up games and play them; everything from lifeguard to football games to hide and seek.  The two of you also love to play "bikes and trikes" and we can often find you riding circles on the driveway. Just another sign of you growing up: your training wheels came off this year and you also picked up riding a scooter.

You love to build - whether it be Lincoln Logs, blocks or legos.  You love to create and to ask me to guess what it is you have built.  You build everything from towers to planes to bat caves.

You have also gotten into playing games with the family.  It seems as you have mom's competitive streak and hate to lose.  Games you love are Cootie, Battleship and Sorry!  You also talked daddy into downloading an electronic battleship on the I-Pad.  It's entertaining to hear how you sank the ships.

You love to sing and dance.  We crack up as you and Hope dance to "fast music" in the evenings.

This summer you have also learned to read.  I am so proud of you, although it's just another milestone to remind me that you are indeed growing up.

You love to learn and tell your Bible stories!

We are so blessed to have you as a son. What a wonderful answer to prayer you are.

Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye is never easy. This weekend we said goodbye to my Nana. While goodbyes are hard, it was great to have the cousins together. My grandmother will be greatly missed, but we are happy that she is at home now with her Lord and Savior.

Cousins and our Papaw
Amy, Justin, Jon, Jen and Kelley

Back: Sandy, Justin, Jon, Howard, Carl, Jen and Jamison
Front: Amy, Mike, Papaw, Carol and Kelley
Taking care of the newest family member: Robin

From the paper:

Joan Moore Gillett was called home on August 27, 2011 to be with her Lord and Savior. Left behind to cherish her memory is her loving husband, Mage, of 67 years. Joan was born on September 18, 1922 in Marshfield, Missouri to Jess and Clara Moore.

Joan was a true beauty inward and outward. She grew up in Springfield, Missouri and graduated from Drury College with a degree in home economics. During her years at Drury she was crowned homecoming queen. In 1944 she married the love of her life after he returned from being MIA for almost a year.

They lived in several locations before settling in April Sound in 1987. She enjoyed traveling, playing bridge, volunteering at the hospital, sewing, Bible Study Fellowship, gardening and spending time with her family. Over a period of many years she invested her life in nurturing others by leading Cub Scouts and Blue Birds. Joan was actively involved in her children's lives serving as room mother, member of various booster clubs and being president of the PTA. She served fervently in women's ministries at University Christian Church in Fort Worth before becoming an active member at First Baptist Church in Conroe where she was a member of the Encouragers' Class.

Her greatest joy was watching her grandchildren mature into successful adults. She consider herself blessed at the birth of seven great grandchildren. She will be sorely missed by all those who loved her. She is survived by husband, Major Roland Gillett, son Mike Gillett and wife Sandy and their daughters, Kelley and husband Carl Loredo and Amy Gillett all of Plano, Texas. Joan is also survived by daughter, Carol, and husband Howard Crockett of Conroe, and their children, daughter Jennifer and husband Jamison Smith of Houston, grandson Jon Crockett and wife Robin of Bristow, Virginia, and grandson Justin Crockett of Houston. She is also survived by seven great grandchildren.

Visitation will be held from 6-8 p.m. on Monday, August 29 at Metcalf Funeral Home and a celebration of life service will be at First Baptist Church Conroe on Tuesday, August 30 at 10 a.m. Interment to follow at Garden Park Cemetery.

The family would like to thank the caregivers; Candice Cannon, Margie Carter, Evie Fulton, Cheryl Lavergne, Deneicia Price, Cindy Tatum and Lighthouse Hospice for their loving devotion during Joan's illness. Special thanks also to Dr. Howard Crockett and Dr. Gary Sharpless for their dedication.

Donations in memory of Joan can be made to Montgomery County Food Bank of First Baptist Church Conroe.